The Chesapeake Bay Is Filled with Fake Fish! Fakers!

We are assuming our bottom is dirty and has some growth.

The above sentence is less scandalous to sailors than everyone else. Now that I think of it, most things are less scandalous to sailors.

Eager to scrub our bottom (OMG Mel can’t stop), the Burnetts did an “Oh, yeah” and recalled that we would often anchor out and have a “Water Day” to accomplish the task.  This idea was especially appealing given the 90-plus-degree heat. Accordingly, Mel found a small creek off the Potomac River where they could anchor.  “Brackish waters – sounds lovely!” said Mel.

Once nestled into a cute pocket in Smith Creek, the Burnetts proceeded with the good amount of prep work for a successful water day. Swimsuits, masks, scrubbies, towels, scuba hookah, water day playlist, sunscreen, floaties, and drinks were readied over 15 sweaty minutes.  Sure the water was opaque brown, but “Think of it as a lake.” And then,

Allie: “Wait – what is that white thing in the water?”

Mel, digging in a deck box for swim fins, “Maybe a fish! Aha, our first fish!”

Allie: “Mom, I think it’s a jellyfish!”

Running to the transom, Mel discovered the horrible truth – they were surrounded by jellyfish, so common apparently in the brackish waters of the Chesapeake in summer they have been nicknamed bay nettles, she learned…afterwards. The jellyfish burbled around the boat, mocking Jerry’s crestfallen crew by looking like scrubbing bubbles.  “You aren’t fish and you aren’t made of jelly!” cried Mel at the swarm, beginning to think badly of sailors’ beloved Chesapeake.  She was especially disappointed because she had checked beforehand about bay swimming safety and learned that the Vibrio and Enterococcus (read: sewage bacteria) were likely at low levels and the bay was “mostly swimmable”…

Giving up on bottom cleaning, the Burnetts solved their overheating problem by taking their dinghy to a nearby marina with a pool.  Lacking a dedicated dinghy dock, the marina did have a “Fish Cleaning Station” with a tempting cleat.  As the crew approached, “Fish Spotter” Allie cried out, “Stop! The dock is covered with bugs!”

Silverfish. Yet another fake fish of the Chesapeake. 

Ewwwwww.

Thanks to our Fish Spotter, the crew avoided Calamity, thwarted stings, infestations, and heatstroke, and had a great “Pool Day”.  After all of that, what’s for dinner?

Chicken.