So the sewer smell in our apartment isn’t fixed. Of course. It’s a sewer gas problem. Or a sewer water problem. Don’t know. When we run the sink, the toilet bubbles. Whatever. Every day we sweep up the indoor anthills that popped up overnight, knock off the salty efflorescence coming out of our plaster walls, and set up our 15 Euro heater (best.purchase.ever) in the corner of our bedroom that has mildew in it. We are slowly going insane. Most people think boats are stinkier than “land homes”, but they are wrong. Aside from some issues whenever we switched from freshwater to seawater in our toilets, our boat heads have never stunk like this. Plus, there’s no warm ocean nearby to plunge into to turn off your nose for a while!
The family took a picture of our “land” mutant status. Mel is a crazy stuffed animal now. She was driven more crazy than the rest of them because she has a family that will not cooperate with her when she asks them to do their best mutant impression, and instead they look like they are in the background of American Gothic. LAME.
Marvin’s butt transplant is underway! The fiberglassers have come and driven Greg away with their clouds of spiky irritants. Of course, only he has been to the boat since they started, and he has not taken a picture of the repairs. LAME.
Our rudder bearings have arrived promptly! This followed the shockingly IMMEDIATE answering of emails, even at 4 a.m., an UNHEARD OF response time in this business. Trust me, we are more used to getting an email five days later that doesn’t even answer the questions posed and instead reveals that the person on the other end has NO IDEA WHAT THEIR COMPANY DOES. The French company (yes, you heard that right: French!) International Boat Spares therefore wins our award for: Boat people who are actually on top of things. Also potentially deserving of the award, pending a good result, are our fiberglassers from GNS, who showed up right when they said they would.
So Mel and the kids are doing a very natural thing in this situation: they are writing a novel. Over the last year, the Burnetts have imagined all sorts of entanglements our cuttlefish mascot Marvin gets into, and we are finally writing them down. That’s right! Soon our dear readers (especially those aged 9-11, the ones that aren’t banned from reading this because of all the swear words, anyway) will enjoy weekly installments of The Aquatic Adventures of The Amazing Marvin, in particular: The Mystery of the Flor do Mar.
No, seriously. WE ARE NOW MUTANTS!