The Sewer Gas Is Turning Us All Into Mutants

So the sewer smell in our apartment isn’t fixed.  Of course.  It’s a sewer gas problem.  Or a sewer water problem.  Don’t know.  When we run the sink, the toilet bubbles.  Whatever.  Every day we sweep up the indoor anthills that popped up overnight, knock off the salty efflorescence coming out of our plaster walls, and set up our 15 Euro heater (best.purchase.ever) in the corner of our bedroom that has mildew in it.  We are slowly going insane.  Most people think boats are stinkier than “land homes”, but they are wrong.  Aside from some issues whenever we switched from freshwater to seawater in our toilets, our boat heads have never stunk like this.  Plus, there’s no warm ocean nearby to plunge into to turn off your nose for a while!

The family took a picture of our “land” mutant status.  Mel is a crazy stuffed animal now.  She was driven more crazy than the rest of them because she has a family that will not cooperate with her when she asks them to do their best mutant impression, and instead they look like they are in the background of American Gothic.  LAME.

This is their best “mutant” faces. LAME. Mel looks more mutanty.

 

Marvin’s butt transplant is underway!  The fiberglassers have come and driven Greg away with their clouds of spiky irritants.  Of course, only he has been to the boat since they started, and he has not taken a picture of the repairs.  LAME.

Our rudder bearings have arrived promptly!  This followed the shockingly IMMEDIATE answering of emails, even at 4 a.m., an UNHEARD OF response time in this business.  Trust me, we are more used to getting an email five days later that doesn’t even answer the questions posed and instead reveals that the person on the other end has NO IDEA WHAT THEIR COMPANY DOES.  The French company (yes, you heard that right: French!) International Boat Spares therefore wins our award for: Boat people who are actually on top of things.  Also potentially deserving of the award, pending a good result, are our fiberglassers from GNS, who showed up right when they said they would.

So Mel and the kids are doing a very natural thing in this situation: they are writing a novel.  Over the last year, the Burnetts have imagined all sorts of entanglements our cuttlefish mascot Marvin gets into, and we are finally writing them down.  That’s right!  Soon our dear readers (especially those aged 9-11, the ones that aren’t banned from reading this because of all the swear words, anyway) will enjoy weekly installments of The Aquatic Adventures of The Amazing Marvin, in particular: The Mystery of the Flor do Mar.

No, seriously.  WE ARE NOW MUTANTS!

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7 Responses

  1. Ken
    | Reply

    Things are progressing in spite of the “smelly issue”. Some changes with us also. When we return from our cruise 2/21/17 we are letting all our neighbors know that we are selling and moving back to the Springfield area. We are spending too much time driving there so why not save time and energy? Wanted everyone to know before we listed the house.

    Hang in there and will continue to monitor your journey!!!

  2. Mike
    | Reply

    I think you should know that since Amy Schaefer on Papillon has returned to land life in Canada you are now my favorite cruising blogger. Not that you are any less entertaining, but I did discover her blog first. I must have a thing for sarcastic Canadian moms. I’m counting on you to get me through the next few years until my wife and I can shove off ourselves. I don’t know if I could have recovered from the fish trap incident as well as you. That must required a lot of scotch.

    • Mel
      | Reply

      Thanks, Mike! Except I’m not Canadian! (Although Minnesotans usually count as Canadians…) Unfortunately our journey is going to end for us this July — we have to go back to “real life.” Hopefully we’ll get back on the water again, though!

  3. Ben
    | Reply

    Apologies in advance for asking a question unrelated to the post. But can you talk a bit about how traveling with Gypsy has worked out for you? Have you had issues with customs, etc, especially in the Med countries? I ask because I have every intent of doing some extended cruising in the next few years, but am also in a committed relationship with multiple pets.

    • Mel
      | Reply

      Ben, I’ll email you with the details, but the main point is to get one of these pet passports (if you’re American)! The countries of the Med think it’s “official!” http://petpassportstore.com/

  4. Kylie Mottl
    | Reply

    Hello Family Burnett AKA mutants- only just back on internet and super pleased to hear some news of your repairs and progress! We have been thinking of you- there was a Leopard 48 anchored near us the other day and we were wishing it was you. Dominica was amazing- so amazing.
    I’m trying to put a post together but not getting all that far at this stage. Anyway, we arrived in the The Saints today and spent a week on Dominica. Sending you speedy butt repairs, delayed insanity and lots of love from us all
    K

    • Mel
      | Reply

      Kylie, Great to hear from you! Good to know about Dominica — now that our time in the Caribbean is shorter, we are going to have to prioritize! I have job interviews in the central US starting in July! I hope our insanity is delayed…although everything is relative. Now our frustrating, crazy wait for a good weather window back in January seems so…cute…

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