The Offshore Cleanse

The Burnetts are 24 hours outside of Lagos. This means that 35 tankers and cargo ships are between us and Europe right now. Fortunately, none seem to be coming close to us. Mel hopes their giant engines are clearing away all of the fishing nets as we approach Portugal. Most of the ships are bound for New York to live the American dream. You know, the one where we import everything.

Going offshore is quite cleansing. One has no choice other than to eat home-cooked meals, so no more large restaurant meals spiked with secret salt and sugar. One doesn’t have any alcohol or caffeine, as it upsets the stomach. If one get seasick, the diarrhea and vomiting gets rid of some fluids. Then there is the crapping of oneself in the gales and giant waves. Of course, Mel has never bought into the whole “cleansing” fad anyway. After learning the incredibly complex and stunning way the kidneys, liver, pancreas, and intestines all work together to “cleanse” the body in medical school, the thought of contributing anything significant to this amazing process with the ingestion of a magic milkshake (which is pooped and peed out per this thing called “homeostasis” anyway) seems preposterous to her. Nevertheless, the cleansing industry is huge. So there’s another moneymaking idea for cruisers: chartering for the offshore cleanse. Just make sure your heads are maintained.

The other thing you cleanse yourself from is the internet. No Facebook or Google. The Google thing is actually the hardest to live without. Of course there is the “Where have I seen that actor before?” torture we go through as we watch DVD’s. But there is a more important need for Google out here. Greg swore he saw little crabs floating on the surface of the ocean this morning that scurried out of the way of our bows. We were 200 miles offshore. Mel would like to look this up, because the lunchmeat Greg has been eating is getting a bit old now and she needs to know if this vision was bad-ham-induced. Of course, we may know soon enough. Listeria is very cleansing.

Boat stuff: Made 153 nm in 24 hours. After motoring through a dead calm last night the wind has moved north and we are now motorsailing in 13 kts of true wind on a port tack for the first time this trip. Mel likes this. Gives the other jibsheet a rest. We don’t really have to have the motors on, but we want to make Lagos by nightfall tomorrow. The waves are up our nose at the moment and are only 3 feet, but Marvin is bucking a bit as they are quite frequent.

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