The next day, Marvin and Susie headed back to The Seady Bar. Approaching the bar, they noted that it looked abandoned. No one was hovering over the outside tables and it was eerily quiet without the constant crackling of the shrimp.
“That’s funny,” Marvin said, “It was really busy at this time yesterday…”
They swam in from the passenger side and at first saw just Manny talking to someone from behind the bar. As they got closer, Marvin suddenly lurched and grabbed Susie with his tentacles.
“Stop!” Marvin whispered, threw his undulating skirt into reverse, and retreated back into the shadows. Before them was a Great White Shark.
There are few things that fluster Marvin, and Great White Sharks are one of them. They are rude, irrational, hungry, and notorious party poopers. They make absolutely frustrating patients, as they are impatient and have their own ideas of how things should go. To make matters worse, they don’t heed The Book of Ocean Etiquette. They just eat it.
Manny was giving the shark his full attention. “Just because she can smell blood one more nautical mile away than I can, she thinks she can call the shots!” said the shark, “I mean, I think I’ve adapted well to having just one eye. But whenever she kills more whales than I do, she always has to rub my nose in it!”
The shark banged his head against the bar, causing his seal blood beer to topple over and slowly disperse. Manny had retracted into the back of the cockpit.
“You know what the worst thing about this is, Manny?”
They heard a muffled “No” come from the cockpit.
“Sometimes I think she’s right! I’m not a Great White Shark. I’m just a Pretty Good White Shark.”
The shark hung his head down and thrashed his way out of the bar, knocking over a table. Marvin was thankful the strong scent of the seal blood masked their smell. They went up to the bar, where Manny was still cowering.
“He’s gone,” Susie said.
“Thanks, guys,” said Manny, extending his full length for a stretch. “Those guys are so bad for business. Crab cocktail?”
“No thanks, Manny. We were wondering,” Susie said, holding up the broken bracelet box she brought. “Have you seen a strong creature around here with a sharp bit that could have broken this box?”
“Hmmmm. Hard to tell with that big piece missing. Strong and pointy? Not sure,” Manny said. He craned his lithe neck outside of the bar and pointed it towards an unusual creature camped outside. “You might want to ask him. Who knows what parts he has? I have no idea what he is!”
Marvin approached the creature with interest and immediately began sketching him in his journal. He was a vivid orange color, similar to a clownfish, but instead of a tail he had two large fins. His other two fins looked segmented, as if he could manipulate them like the talons of a bird. The weirdest thing, though, was that he appeared swollen, almost fat. This was puzzling, as there are few fat things in the ocean. Fat floats.
As they approached, it appeared that the creature was heating up a dead sponge by stinging it repeatedly with fire coral.
“G’day, mate! ‘Ow ya goin?” he said, dropping the sponge and tearing off a chunk.
“I am Marvin and this is my assistant, Susie.”
“’Oy that’s great! The name’s ‘The Great Blargh’, but you can call me ‘Blargh’ for short!” Blargh said, chewing his sponge.
Susie suppressed a number of questions that bubbled up to focus on the task at hand. “Blargh, we were wondering what you were doing the evening of the last full moon,” she began.
“Well, wait a tic, I’ll think back. You see, I’m on walkabout –“ Blargh started coughing. Suddenly a large, suckered tentacle popped out of the top of his head, doubling his height.
“Oh, excuse me!” Blargh said, and curled the tentacle back under his, er, scalp.
Distracted from his task, Marvin told him excitedly, “I believe you are a previously undescribed species!”
Blargh stood a little taller. “I can describe me, no worries. I’m Australian!”
Marvin and Susie glanced quizzically at each other. “Okay, then, Blargh, do you have any pointy bits in there?” Susie asked.
The Great Blargh paused in deep reflection. “Weeeell, I don’t reckon so, but I learn things about myself every day. Good ahead and take a gander!”
Pleased to be faced with a familiar task, Marvin handed his journal to Susie and began the examination.
“He appears to have a tail back here…no, wait, two tails!” Marvin dictated.
“Two tails,” Susie recorded.
Examining the skin, Marvin said, “And this appears to be…fur, like on a sea otter!”
Marvin’s excitement overwhelmed him as Susie scribbled furiously. Without realizing it, he was dangling Blargh upside down and inspecting different parts of him simultaneously with all seven free tentacles, something that good doctors are not supposed to do.
“And look at this, another retractable appendage! This one appears to be a phosphorescent globe on a stalk! Wait, what is this? Is this a third eye…in the, uh, caudal region?” Marvin asked.
“Yep! That’s me butt eye!” said Blargh, smiling despite the awkward position, “Wait, you don’t have a butt eye?”
“And what in the world would that be for?” Marvin asked, more to himself than anyone else.
“It’s good as gold, mate!” Blargh said, then suddenly froze in place. “Sorry to run on ya, but it’s time for my sand nap.”
“Interesting,” Marvin said, “Why do you take a nap now?”
“Not sure, mate. Just do! You sure wonder about a lot of things!”
And with that, The Great Blargh buried himself in the sand. Suddenly, out popped the phosphorescent globe, lighting up a large area around them with an eerie blue glow.
“Darn! I could have sworn there were some pointy bits in there somewhere! Susie, what time is it?” Marvin asked.
“Wait, I have to see the stars,” Susie said. She had to scoot several meters away to get away from Blargh’s bright tail light and then spent a few moments aligning herself with the sky and doing some funny manipulations of her tube feet.
“We’ve got a half hour before midnight,” Susie answered.
“Interesting,” said Marvin. “Record that. We’ll have such a great journal entry for today!” He then gleefully swam along, attempting to mimic Blargh’s butt eye all the way back to the Flor do Mar.
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