So Mel finally has a few moments to communicate with the world, mainly because she is getting her Prius serviced. The last couple of weeks have been a crazy whirlwind of last-minute patients, “transition plans” (that is a euphemism for ‘Holy Cow! You’re quitting?! You only gave us a year’s notice, and we haven’t done much to replace you yet! This is all your fault! You fix it!’), and five goodbye parties/luncheons. FIVE. Not sure how that happened — Mel only works at four places…Oh, wait! WORKED. April 29 was the last day she WORKED.
All of the festivities underscored what great people Mel has worked with over the years, at all of her sites. So after feeling sad, guilty, stressed, and elated at the same time for a few weeks, Mel decided to try out some new skills: BEING LAZY and NOT GETTING MUCH DONE. She therefore spent an hour on the couch, in the middle of the afternoon no less, watching The Love Boat. In addition to being blown away by how low her standards were for acting quality when she was 13 years old, she also came to a natural conclusion: sitting around in the middle of the day causes constipation. Why else would they show all those Miralax commercials?
Well, that was fun. It was time to get to work! And so, after that glorious hour, she then spent the next three days swearing at the IKEA PAX Wardrobe system. This is the Swedish torture device she and Greg installed in their newly remodeled bathroom. Fifty Shades of Grey should have had an IKEA installation scene. She would have left him for good after that one.
After stripping her 20th screw and repositioning the upper shelf of each wardrobe THREE !#@#%&! TIMES, Mel composed this poem, the first creative work of her “sabbatical”:
Counting pegholes from the top
Counting pegholes from the bottom
Frick! The shelf is still too high!
Why are the screws so soft in Sweden?
If she can’t contribute to the world as a healer, Mel will as a poet! Just imagine what jewels will be inspired by the next few weeks of touching everything we own, auctioning our stuff, donating our stuff, packing our stuff, and selling the house and cars! Boy, the cruising life still seems a long way away!